Catching Our Breath
When we are constantly running from our pain, at some point we will lose our breath. I remember the ache in my side and the harsh coldness of the air hitting my lungs when I was trying to run the mile in high school gym class. At some point there was no alternative but to slow down and catch my breath.
When I was a teenager, I was already overwhelmed by fatigue. And not just the too-much-homework, not-enough-sleep fatigue that is common among teens. I was tired to my bones from running away from my past trauma. Fortunately, I began to learn breathing techniques with my high school singing teacher, Tina. I only thought of deep breathing as a way to improve my singing; it took me years to realize how it also improved my life. Singing offers many emotional and physical benefits, but when you boil it down, singing is breathing. You take in a lovely, deep breath, and as you exhale your vocal cords vibrate to turn the breath into sound.
Now that I’ve spent years teaching singing, piano, and yoga, I understand why we are always hearing the advice to take a deep breath. Most people take shallow, constricted breaths, and rarely bring attention to their body as they breathe.
Yet magic happens when we tune in for a few moments. The steady movement of the diaphragm as we breathe consciously is incredibly calming to the nervous system. Our bodies and brains are flooded with nourishing oxygen and our racing thoughts are invited to slow down.
This miracle starts with the diaphragm. A large muscle somewhat resembling a shallow, upside-down bowl, the diaphragm is located beneath the lungs. It extends to the front, back and sides of our body.
When the diaphragm moves down, it creates a vacuum in the lungs, allowing fresh air to rush into our bodies. Once the diaphragm has begun its descent, breathing can be effortless. Imagine for a second that we breathed water instead of air. If you were underwater and opened your mouth, would it take effort for the water to enter? No. The water would naturally rush in. It’s the same with air. Breathing can be an easy and effortless way to connect with our bodies.
Since our culture can make us feel powerless, I often combine the deep breathing with the intention of strengthening my internal power. In the yogic tradition, the third chakra at the navel is the center of personal power. As I breathe, I like to visualize an ever-glowing flame within my abdomen to represent my strength.
Don’t worry if you have complex feelings around your inner fortitude. We can have all kinds of misgivings about becoming more powerful- and most of them come from the ways power is abused in our culture. But we are not aiming for the pseudo-power of domination over others. We are cultivating our inner authority to stand in our truth. The key lies in strengthening our own power alongside our compassion for ourselves and others.
How to practice Diaphragmatic Breathing:
1. Sit or lie down comfortably with your spine elongated and aligned.
2. Place a hand on your belly button. Keep your hand here throughout the practice to monitor the movement of your diaphragm.
3. Imagine a steady flame behind your navel in the center of your body. Your focus and awareness will add fuel to the fire, helping it grow stronger.
4. Allow your diaphragm muscle to move downward, initiating a slow, easy breath. As the diaphragm moves down, it pushes the organs in your abdomen outward to make space for the life-giving air to fill all parts of your lungs. As the air comes in, it is like your belly is getting fatter and you will feel your hand moving outward with your abdomen.
5. When it feels right, exhale at a comfortable pace. The diaphragm will steadily return to its highly domed shape and your abdomen will come inward again.
6. Repeat, repeat, repeat!
7. Add sound (optional): Practice steps one through three. When you feel ready to exhale, speak or sing a meaningful phrase repeatedly until you feel ready to inhale again. For example: “I am learning to love myself!” Choose a sound or phrase that feels natural to you right now.
I practice both the silent version and sound version of diaphragmatic breathing in different situations. You can practice silent diaphragmatic breathing as you talk on the phone, during a meeting, phone call or while you watch TV.
The sound version of diaphragmatic breathing is beautiful to practice in the morning or before bed. Singing has been shown to lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. To me, that is proof that we are all born to be singers regardless of how we may sound. The key is to start in an environment where you feel safe, and release judgment over how you sound. Instead, focus on feeling the meaning behind your words, and that is what will make it beautiful.
If you want to try diaphragmatic breathing as a regular practice, we get to talk about the logistics of building a habit. Tying your practice in with another activity in your regular life will make it easier to remember. For example, you can set the intention of breathing into your power center for a few minutes right after you wake up in the morning, or right after you take a shower, or on your coffee break at work. You can also use a cue, such as anytime you feel the urge to check your phone. When you experience the urge, then you know it is time to practice diaphragmatic breathing first.
Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to try to incorporate a new practice into your life, especially if you are someone who beats yourself up with guilt any time you don’t make time for the new habit.
Self-compassion is key when we are starting something new. You may catch yourself thinking self-critical thoughts along the lines of:
I’m no good at this breathing stuff.
I’m a failure because I can never make any real changes.
I’m too busy (or angry or depressed) to try something new right now.
I’m a hopeless case so this probably won’t help me anyway.
If you have even mild versions of these thoughts, ask yourself if you would speak to a close friend the way you are speaking to yourself. Chances are you would be a lot more kind and encouraging with your friend. The practice of self-compassion starts with bringing awareness to your thoughts, then injecting kind and compassionate thoughts into your day. It’s about reminding yourself it is okay to be human and make mistakes. By easing ourselves out of self-criticism, we actually free up more motivation to try again instead of giving up.
You made it to the end of my longest post ever! Congratulations! If you tried the exercise, I would love your feedback. What parts did you like? Are there any suggestions or improvements you would make? Your feedback will help me tweak this practice as I will be including it in the book I am writing.
